THE FIRST RESPONSE
That moment I have been waiting for…
I sent in the first draft of my thesis and today I received feedback from one professor. (I still have two more to hear from.)
I cannot lie, the minute I saw the email- a little anxiety built up in me. On the one hand I was excited and the other hand major nerves was building around that the feedback would actually say. It was great feedback but it highlighted what I was afraid of…
I need to immerse more in my truth. I need to add more of my voice and perspective as a Black woman- an African American woman- a woman of African descent born and living in America. I really have to talk about the experience of writing and performing a one woman show exploring my identity and voice.
I will not lie. I think a part of me knee that I was going to have to add more but I was hoping at the same time at what I provided was enough. This process of writing this thesis has brought up so much for me in terms of what I have not been facing- my truth.
How funny is it that today of all days I would see a quote that stated that if I am afraid of the truth then I am not ready to be a writer.
That quote really struck a chord within me. I almost wanted to run in a corner and hide but that’s been a safety net for way too long.
I realize in order to answer the questions that she wants me to explore for myself, I have to let down my wall. Embrace vulnerability and transparency.
This has always been my struggle.
What does it mean to be both Black and female in America?
I believe this is a question that I have to explore for myself but based on the history of Black women in America, I already have an answer to that. But to create my own self-definition outside of America’s racist, sexist and classist ideologies that hold Black women’s identity in box which breeds ignorance and misunderstanding is the challenge.